Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
