Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
