Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize