Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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