theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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