Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
