Grow some girl-balls and come out already
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Randomize
