so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
