Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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