So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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