i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
