It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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