When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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