so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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