so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
