Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
