Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
