What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You can't special order awesome
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
