you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
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I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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