Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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