She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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