it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
