I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
