I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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