After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
