just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
