4 words: hood of his car
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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