So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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