I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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