it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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