the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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