I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
