Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
being pregnant is like rehab
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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