i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she smelled like a LAN party
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
