After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
