i just google imaged poop.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
