It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
