how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
