Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
