I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
