God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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