"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i think i just lost a toe
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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