i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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