Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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