my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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