i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
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I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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