I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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