I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
