I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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