just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
