I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
