it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
