I'm gonna have a badass scar
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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