im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
