i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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