and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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