C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
