Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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