i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
