i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
