i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
