I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
