Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
