I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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