I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize