I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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