How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
