it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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