so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
