I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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